The Good Girl gets a B- in Chemotherapy
In this episode, while waiting for a blood test result to see how my body is handling chemotherapy, the good girl reminds me she is very good at taking tests. A glimpse into the over active imagination of a daydreamer during chemotherapy.
Show notes
The Good Girl Gets a B Minus in Chemotherapy
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In this episode of Beyond the Good Girl, I introduce the “Good Girl” in me—the part that tries to perform, please, avoid conflict, and control how I’m perceived even when things feel chaotic inside. I begin my 2020 stories because COVID restrictions, leaving my job in Mongolia, moving back to my parents’ house in the UK, my father dying, and my breast cancer diagnosis made my patterns impossible to miss—especially when “good” stopped working. I tell the story of waiting for post-chemo blood test results by phone, how my mind tried to manage the unmanageable by treating bloodwork like a test I could “pass,” and how I swung between fantasies of being “the best at chemotherapy” and catastrophe. When I’m told my liver is too toxic and chemo must be delayed and reduced to 80%, I realize I can’t control outcomes—only my reaction, one day at a time.
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00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
00:14 Meet the Good Girl
01:57 When Good Stops Working
03:46 Waiting for the Call
05:32 Old Test Anxiety Spirals
08:08 Good News and Fantasy
10:37 Second Call Shock
12:44 B Minus Reality Check
14:02 Living With Uncertainty
14:39 Share Your Stories
15:11 Newsletter and Next Episode
