Mirror, Mirror on the Page: Unpacking Snow White, Passivity, and Shadow Work
In the latest episode of the Beyond The Good Girl Podcast, I sat down with purpose coach and SpeakEasy member Gabi Da Gama to debrief our recent journaling session on Snow White. Together, we explore why this childhood fairy tale triggers such strong reactions in modern women, what the Evil Queen teaches us about envy, and how journaling serves as a mirror to our inner power.
Listen to the Full Episode
The Trigger of the "Passive Princess"
Fairy tales are deeply embedded in our collective imagination. We grow up listening to them, rarely questioning the subtle lessons they pass down. But what happens when we revisit those childhood stories as adult women?
After a journaling session in the Speakeasy, Gabi realised she was left with an unexpected wave of rage toward Snow White—specifically her total lack of agency and passivity.
"Why does Snow White annoy me? It suddenly occurred to me that she could only be saved out of that predicament by men. She becomes somebody in servitude, saved by serving the miners or dwarves, and then falls into a deep sleep only to be rescued by a prince. She was utterly incapable of doing stuff for herself."
Gabi Da Gama
In traditional fairy tale narratives, feminine worth is often tied to two main things: physical beauty or useful servitude. If a woman isn't being beautiful or being useful, she is rendered invisible. When we look at Snow White through a modern lens, her passivity highlights how society has conditioned women to wait for rescue rather than claim their own authority.
When we journal on these stories, noticing what enrages or triggers us about a character is often the first step in dismantling the "Good Girl" mask.
The Evil Queen, Envy, and Shadow Work
While Snow White represents passive perfection, the Evil Queen embodies something far more complex: active power, competition, and deep-seated envy.
In traditional storytelling, female villains are demonized for holding power or expressing ambition. But in shadow work, the parts of ourselves we judge most harshly are often where the greatest potential for healing lies.
Unpacking the Magic Mirror
The story begins with a mirror that supposedly "tells the truth." But is the mirror objective, or is it merely reflecting our deepest insecurity and need for comparison?
Constant Comparison: The queen is obsessed with being "the fairest in all the land." As women, we are often socialized to rank ourselves against others—whether in beauty, success, or achievement.
The Fear Beneath Envy: Envy usually arises when we believe there is a scarcity of worth or love. Behind the queen's rage is a terror of becoming invisible or irrelevant as she ages.
Reclaiming Power: The villain in a story wields authority, even if destructively. By examining the "villain" within ourselves without judgment, we can reclaim our drive and power in a healthy, constructive way.
"The villain is actually where a lot of the gold is because we put judgment on that. If we can stop judging and start accepting—asking what the emotion is really telling us—it’s never purely negative. It’s always something we’re longing for or desiring."
— Gabi Da Gama
Fairy Tales as a Mirror for Journaling
Why use fairy tales for personal development and journaling? Because these ancient archetypes act as a bridge into our subconscious mind.
When you journal around a fairytale character, you aren't just writing about fiction—you are exploring the hidden aspects of your own psyche. A story creates a safe, creative buffer where you can examine difficult feelings like rage, comparison, fear, or unworthiness without feeling overwhelmed.
Lightbulb Moments in Community
Journaling alone is transformative, but discussing these insights in a group setting amplifies the experience. Hearing another woman express a thought you felt ashamed of creates instant connection and releases judgment.
Through playful curiosity and creative prompts, the process shifts from a heavy self-help chore into an empowering exploration of who you are behind the roles you play.
Journaling Prompts: Reflecting on Your Inner Snow White & Evil Queen
Ready to look into the mirror on your own page? Try these prompts in your journal today:
Examining Passivity: Where in your life are you playing the "passive princess"—waiting for someone else to step in, make a decision, or save the day?
Unmasking Servitude: Do you ever feel your worth depends on being useful, tidy, or helpful to others? What happens if you simply exist without proving your utility?
Questioning the Mirror: In what areas of life do you find yourself constantly comparing your standing or progress to others? What is that comparison trying to protect you from?
Reclaiming Your Inner Power: What aspect of the "villain" archetype (ambition, directness, power, refusal to comply) do you need to give yourself permission to express?
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